“I hate living with my parents!” Many teenagers and adult children of various ages can relate to this. Living with parents comes with its own benefits and challenges. However, there are reasons why you may hate living with your parents.
From childhood onwards, most of us have been living together with our parents, and I think it’s safe to say that everything was blissful back then.
You don’t have to worry about rent, utility bills, food, and other necessities. Although with those advantages come along the rules of the house.
However, not all of us are lucky to have loving and caring parents who provide everything. Not everybody is fortunate enough to have responsible parents who are really capable of being, well, parents.
Once we grow up, most of us start to realize that we hate living with our parents.
There can be a lot of different reasons for this. You might not like how they treat you, or you may get frustrated by the strict rules imposed by your family.
When a child enters his teenage, he/she wants to enjoy freedom and independence. At this stage, every child thinks of these two factors as the most critical and crucial characteristics of life.
If your parents are unusually strict and do not let you live like you want to, you start to hate living with them under one roof.
Living with your parents can feel like living under a dark cloud of anger and annoyance. If your parents do not respect your individuality, then it can be even more upsetting.
You and your parents might have clashing personalities, making it incredibly difficult for all of you to live under the same roof.
After some time, living with your parents can seem like serving up a sentence in jail. Let’s be real. That’s what most of us kids will say if you were to be asked, “How is it to live with your parents?”
Apart from the longing for freedom and a sense of independence, you may hate living with your parents because they are not the nurturing type.
Here are some reasons why you hate living with your parents and a few suggestions for dealing with them.
When you live with your parents, you are frequently under surveillance. It aggravates you as a teenager as you would like to have an appropriate level of independence.
With your parents watching over you all day long, you cannot enjoy your life to the fullest. You feel like you are being controlled all the time and do not have any authority over your own life choices.
Parents tend to scold their children whenever they feel like something is not right. Living under this endless loop of complaints and criticism will start to harm your general mood and behavior.
What to do?
When the reason you hate living with your parents is the lack of freedom, start talking to them about that matter.
Give reasoning why you don’t need to be controlled and explain in a calm manner that you can go about your life without being supervised.
Parents are controlling their children for many reasons. One, because they are worrying that you may get in trouble. Two, your parents forget that you’re already a grown-up and can manage things on your own. Three, your parents do not trust you or your choice.
Reminding your parents that you are a person of your own mind and choice can give a good. Prove that you are not giving them any reason to worry at all. Show them that you are trustworthy, and you are ready to take responsibility for your own choices.
From what I’ve seen, many parents are controlling their sons less. Parents tend to let loose their son to do whatever they want, while daughters are kept home.
In some cultures, this is completely normal. Daughters are getting constant supervision from parents, and it is harder for girls to get as much freedom as boys.
From the parents’ perspective, boys are tougher to deal with everything outside and are supposed to manage things independently.
Girls, on the other hand, are supposed to be protected.
It might be right when your parents were young, but times are different now. It is much safer for girls to go outside than it was fifty years ago in most places in the world.
Set a calm conversation and logically argue that you, as a girl, can manage things on your own. If you are thinking about moving out, bring up the topic slowly. Build up the conversation to let your parents understand you and vice versa.
Do not abruptly mention the idea that you’re going to move out. It can lead to a heated argument and possibly a banning from you leaving the house.
Having No Privacy
When you live with your parents, you will have a little space for yourself. Over time, this seemingly slight problem can turn into a psychological burden.
If you have a rebellious personality and like to do things creatively, living with your parents will be quite a nightmare. They will keep on admonishing you for following a particular lifestyle, outfit, or set of activities.
Children at a certain age will start developing a sense of privacy and the need to keep things for themselves. When there is no maintained private sphere in the household you’re living in, it can aggravate your mental well-being.
What to do?
Set up boundaries with your parents and make an agreement. For example, if your parents have always been barging into your room without knocking, set the rule from now on. Explain that they need to ask permission first before entering your room.
Mention several things that bother you. For example, if you don’t like your parents meddling with your social life, be sure to address that.
Talk to your parents about what topics are okay to discuss and what issues are not.
The least discussed topic is that many parents abuse their children either physically, verbally, or emotionally. If this is your case, there are some ways you can work it out.
But moving out of your parent’s house when you can afford it is a good start. Staying away and be less in contact with your abusive parents will be much easier when you don’t live in the same building.
It doesn’t mean that I want you to cut contact with your parents. That is not what I am saying.
You can still love and visit your parents but set a term. Limit your visit, but be sure to be there for your parents if something significant happens.
What to do?
Dealing with abusive parents can be tiresome, stressful, and wore you down even before you begin to bring the topic to discuss.
There are several ways on how to deal with abusive parents, depending on how old you are. Dealing with abusive parents in adulthood will require you to do a different set of strategies compare to teenagehood.
It also depends on which type of abuse you are receiving from your parents as the approach to both problems can be different.
For example, suppose you are dealing with emotionally abusive parents in early-stage teenagehood. In that case, you can ask for help from older people in the inner circle. Ask help from your aunt, uncle, grandparents, teacher, or figure of authority.
As adults, you are required to deal with your abusive parents differently. Refer to this article by Live Wire to learn more.
Focus on What to Do When You Hate Living With Your Parents
It is unpleasant when you need to continually live under the same roof as your parents, even though you hate it. For whatever reasons, you need to live with your parents, and that’s not easy.
For some of us, we cannot merely afford to move out. You need to contemplate many things before deciding to move out, especially if you are a minority.
No, you don’t have to hate your parents even though you hate living with them. There can be still parent-child love between all of you. Take some of these steps to lessen your burden when living with your parents.
Staying Calm & Composed
When your parents start rebuking you frequently, it can become really infuriating. No one likes to get disapproved for everything he or she does. However, if you plan on living with your parents for extended periods, you will have to learn how to deal with those feelings.
Try to stay as calm and controlled as you can, no matter how challenging the situation is. Keep things cool and never fire an illogical argument. It will only make things worse.
If you want to continue living with your parents in the same house, fighting over petty matters won’t help. Instead of starting a useless debate, try to replace your parents’ negative comments with subtle adjustments in your own attitude.
If at any point you feel inclined to challenge your parents, keep in mind that chances of this resulting in anything positive are strikingly minute. It is advised to let go of any hard feelings and maintain a calm and relaxed approach.
Focusing On Positive Aspects
Even if you do not realize it, there can be some perks in living with your parents. Try to acknowledge these advantages. It will help you value what you have.
Living with your parents, you will have to deal with many complex problems that you cannot solve on your own. Try to figure out the silver lining of living with your parents.
One of the apparent benefits is saving vast sums of money every month. As an adult, you might be contributing to household expenses, but those outlays will be minimal compared to the cost of living on your own. Moreover, you will not have to perform all the housework by yourself. If you live with your parents, you will be excused from some infuriatingly mundane tasks.
Sharing the load of these household chores will save you a lot of time and effort daily. This way, you will not be stretched to your limits and can easily focus on your studies or job.
Moving Out If Needed
Living with your parents can have its own benefits. Still, when it becomes exceptionally irritating for you to live under strict scrutiny and relentless disapproval, you should consider your options of moving out.
Once you move out, you will have the liberty you always wanted. It will empower you to grow as an individual as you enter the practical world. Settling in your own house will allow you to minimize the conflicts you have with your parents.
When you move out, you will feel a satisfying sensation of autonomy. With this, you will be able to take mature and settled decisions without any external intrusion. Moving into a separate residence will provide you with plenty of time and space for yourself.
Because of this, you will no longer be limited to explore new opportunities. Moreover, just like you crave freedom, your parents do too. Therefore, leaving your parents’ house as early as possible would be the optimal approach.
According to developmental psychologists, life after adulthood consists of really crucial and formative years. At this stage, you cannot afford to live under an umbrella of anxiety and stress.
Suppose you think you are not comfortable living with your parents. In that case, you must either resolve the most critical issues causing the majority of the problems or set out to live on your own.
Having an unhealthy relationship with your parents can prevent you from accomplishing anything substantial. If you are spiraling towards an unwanted outcome, you have no choice but to take concrete steps towards personal independence.