When your son died, it can be a heart-shattering experience. It is painful, shocking, and traumatic. You may take weeks, months, or even years to cope with his death and it’s alright. Take all the time you need, and be sure that your best time is yet to come.
“No parents shall bury their children.” The first time I heard this quote from the Lord of the Rings, I agreed immediately.
Anyone who has ever suffered the loss of a child knows that in such a situation, parents have to undergo several unique challenges. It can be considered as the most challenging and tough state of affairs for parents.
Parents feel responsible and accountable for their son’s well-being. It is what makes it even more painful for them to endure such a tragic and heartrending incident.
The death of your son can spark several psychological, biological, and social impressions. When your son dies, you will receive a lot of advice on how to deal with upcoming circumstances.
Some of this advice will be useful while most of it will not be of any help. People who have not gone through this themselves cannot understand what you are feeling. Losing your child cannot be compared to any other pain or grief. Many people around us do not realize it.
The impact of this pain can only be genuinely acknowledged by someone who has lost his/her child. When you lose your child, you desperately need compassion and love from your friends and family.
It is what keeps you going in the face of extreme challenges and hardships. If not treated cautiously, this pain can last for years on end.
Difficult To Forget
If you think that this pain is going to get alleviated on its own, then you are starting on the wrong foot. Parents love their children deeply. This love can never be eliminated easily.
You will not be able to forget about your son within a day or two. Unlike everyone else, parents tend to remember their children long after they are gone. Parents love their son more than anything else in the world.
Unless you deliberately put your mind to work and train it to forget what happened, the memory of your beloved son will haunt you forever. Time can indeed heal the majority of emotional scars but losing your son causes so big of a heartbreak that it can never be overlooked or ignored.
Detrimental For Marital Affairs
It has been proved that after the death of your son, it can become increasingly difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse. The pain inflicted by this devastating occurrence is so immense that it is bound to affect other relationships in your life.
When combined with feelings of anger, guilt, and frustration, parental bereavement can cause irreversible damage to your marital affairs. If you find yourself in this situation, you must understand the importance of communication with your partner.
You will not be able to preserve your marriage quality unless both of you share all complications and fight everything together.
Associated Shock & Trauma
Just after hearing the news of your son’s death, you may feel numb and emotionless. It is your body’s natural response to shield you against pain, agony, and discomfort.
When you come to know that your son has died, you not only feel frustrated and agonized, but too powerless as well. Parents think of themselves as being the only people responsible for protecting their child from the outside world. When they realize that they failed at protecting their child, it fills them up with an unusual feeling of helplessness.
Parents do not expect to outlive their children, and when they do, they are met with an unanticipated wave of surprise shock and disturbance. In this unforeseen eventuality, no one can support you emotionally, except your family members and close friends.
What To Do?
Even though the agony associated with losing your son cannot be put to words, you can find several ways to cope with this grief. Resolving parental grief after losing your son might seem impossible, but you should never lose hope.
Everything is possible. In the event of the death of your son, you need to achieve an optimal balance between realism and optimism. Even though you are deeply saddened by the loss of your son, with continuous efforts and support from your loved ones, you will be able to endure this inconceivable distress.
After a son’s death, many people tend to have strong feelings of guilt and wrongdoing. Instead of hiding from them, confront those feelings heads on. It will empower you to fight inherent fears.
Try to consider your actions and reactions with a positive outlook. Do not conclude hurriedly and forgive yourself for being imperfect. After you have lost your child, there is no point in rejecting pleasure and happiness altogether.
Enjoying your life is one of the most crucial survival tools for humans. Never think of having pleasure as abandoning your child’s memory. Even if you are deeply saddened, happiness is an integral part of our lives.
Take small steps and break down your future timeline into easily manageable milestones. Try to deal with one thing at a time and relax as much as possible.
Always focus on positive events and experiences. You will fail at leading a productive and purposeful life if you start concentrating on only one side of the coin. Do not wait for others to step in and help you.
Actively seek assistance from close friends and family members. Try to spend as much time as you can with people who make you laugh. Keep in mind that surviving the loss of your son will not be easy.
You must dynamically play an aggressive role yourself to succeed in this unforgiving test of psychological and emotional strength.
The grief and anguish that is associated with the death of your son are unlike anything you will ever experience. You will only be able to make it through if you stay connected to your social network and keep on fighting.
Losing hope is not an option. It would help if you communicated as effectively as possible so that you can share your feelings with others. It will help you achieve emotional balance once again.
No matter how anguished or tormented you feel, continue your efforts to find your way back to everyday life.