There is a fine line between unintended pregnancy and unwanted pregnancy. While unintended pregnancy still upholds the possibility that you may want the baby, unwanted pregnancy may indicate that you already decide neither like nor want the baby.
Telling your partner you are pregnant, especially when neither of you intends it, can cause such a headache.
But a straight out rejection may worsen the situation or confuse your partner.
Child and family psychologists say that refusing pregnancy does not necessarily mean that you really do not accept the pregnancy. Instead, it can be an expression of your unpreparedness.
Therefore, it is important to react to unintended pregnancy accordingly and talk about it effectively with your partner.
This article talks about how you, as a female, deal with unintended pregnancy and how to communicate the situation to your partner.
How to Tell Your Partner About Your Unintended Pregnancy
Communicating a problem in the household takes a special time where both of you really present yourselves to each other.
When discussing something that will have a big impact on the future for the whole family members, you and your partner need to have sound minds, good moods, and the goal to overcome the problem.
Unfortunately, according to psychologists, there are many challenges in terms of communicating effectively within the household. Different schedules and activities often cause you and your partner to communicate perfunctorily.
So, how do you communicate the unplanned pregnancy?
#1. Use I Message technic
Instead of blaming yourself for forgetting to take pills, having no savings, or any other reasons that may cause this pregnancy, prioritize to communicate yourself to your partner.
Express your feelings about this pregnancy.
For example, “I’m actually confused about this pregnancy. I am afraid, our finance is not ready to support a child. I don’t know if I can be a mother right now.”
Your partner will respond better with this I Message. He will also understand your feelings better and find the best solution for both of you.
#2. Admit the Situation
Have you ever wondered why pregnancy takes 9 months? It’s to give you and your partner time to sit, hug, and cry together.
I am not kidding.
Unintended pregnancy is a no joke. But, by acknowledging the problem as a challenge that must be resolved together, you and your partner can relieve any negative emotions that exist.
It also allows you and your partner to find ways to support each other and grow together.
#3. Find a Solution
Once you’re done with negative emotions, it’s time for you and your partner to come up with a solution.
For example, if the current problem is the tight savings or financial issues, look for strategies to overcome it.
Reduce excessive spending and eating out. Save more money on food and leisure activities.
Experts suggest reducing all tertiary expenses. Save your money. If needed, downgrade your life for a while.
If the problem is a hindrance to your partner’s career, be sure to find a way to keep a career without neglecting the baby. Refer to pregnancy rights if you need to talk to your boss about your situation.
#4. Create a To-do List
Finally, make a list of what you need to do over the next few months.
Experts suggested dividing the roles between you and your partner to continue the pregnancy and share responsibility.
Decide who will take care of the elder child or children (if any). Discuss who will earn more money for childbirth and where to save it.
Experts advised that it is necessary for you to make this unintended pregnancy a joint opportunity to move forward.
You may need to change your dreams together, but make sure this pregnancy opens new doors and brings lead your families to a better future.
Do Unplanned Pregnancies Ruin Relationships?
This is a case by case situation. No one can really tell if your relationship is heading to ruin when you announce unplanned pregnancy to your partner.
Some relationships may see this as a means to settle down, or a way to improve and grow themselves, while others see the opposite.
It also depends on whether or not you are in a legal relationship with your partner. A married couple may deal with unintended pregnancy easier. Young-adults pregnancy, however, speaks different results.
According to this data, half of the pregnancies in the United States are unplanned and the majority happen to unmarried young women in their 20s. The research shows that unplanned pregnancy may cause the relationship to deteriorate.
An unplanned pregnancy may ruin a relationship when both of you are not in a formal union or unmarried. Couples with a child from unplanned pregnancy are less likely to move to a committed relationship which may lead to conflicts resulting in unhappiness.
The Bottom Line
An unplanned pregnancy can cause you to freak out and that’s okay. Find the best time where your partner is present to communicate about it.
Express your feelings, worries, and uncertainties about the pregnancy using the I Method to help your partner understand you better.
Women with unplanned pregnancies may neglect the duty to take care of the fetus. Please be aware that you may still want the baby after several months. Make sure that you take care of yourself and the baby from an early stage.
Make a to-do list and share responsibilities with your partner in terms of what to do for the next few months. Ask help from friends, family, and create a support system for both of you.
First-time parents may experience mental breakdown and anxiety. When this happens, seek professional help to assist you.