You may be left confusing as not to know what happened to your boyfriend when he suddenly ghosted you. There are reasons for that. Today, you’ll learn the answer to this question, “Why my bipolar boyfriend ignores me?”
Relationships are tricky. Even for ordinary people, having a romantic interest in somebody can be quite overwhelming. So much so that it affects your daily routines.
When you are dating someone with bipolar disorder, the romantic relationship is more challenging and confusing. It can start difficult and become an unhealthy relationship for you.
It may be easier for you to remove yourself from the relationship. But the most comfortable choice is not always the best choice.
Suppose you decide to give the relationship a try. In that case, you need to understand why people who suffer from bipolar ignore their loved ones.
Only then will you be able to put yourself in their shoes and help him seek a way out.
Why My Bipolar Boyfriend Ignores Me?
Your bipolar boyfriend may completely cut off all communication with you. He does not respond to your texts, calls, or emails.
Even if you pop up in front of his door and ring the bell, he will not open the door for you.
It can be heartbreaking because he seems to treat you as you no longer exist.
Undoubtedly, this impacts the relationship negatively and leaves you wondering if your bipolar boyfriend truly loves you.
To answer that, you need to understand why your bipolar boyfriend ignores you.
#1. It’s not personal
Guess what? Your bipolar boyfriend does not only ignore you. He ignores everyone. Even people in his closest circle.
He may also ghost his family members, friends, work colleagues, or even a call from his boss.
It feels more comfortable to cut off all communication with other people when he is struggling with his ups and downs.
When you’re in an early stage of dating, he may push you away out of fear that you may leave him due to his condition.
It is a valid reason as people with bipolar fear being rejected due to the illness.
#2. It’s the Bipolar Disorder
People who are in relationships with someone having bipolar tend to blame themselves for the reactions they get.
However, you need to be proactive and give the necessary space to your boyfriend. Avoid being reactive or aggressive and refrain from confrontations.
Not only are those unhelpful, but they also will make the situation worse.
Bipolar disorder is not only mania and depression. There are also episodes in between.
It’s important to remember that he is not himself when he currently has a high or low episode.
Separate the person from the illness. It is a bipolar disorder that makes him behave strangely. The person you’re in love with is still there but covered in a blanket of chemical imbalances in his brain.
#3. He may try to protect you
There is the stigma that mental illness causes severe anxiety to those who live with bipolar disorder.
He cuts off contact does not mean that he rejects you. Sometimes, it is his way to protect you from being dragged down by his mania or depression episode.
It does not mean that he stop loving you or caring for you. He may feel overwhelmed and feel the need to create a distance between you and him to calm down.
However, this phase may take a couple of days to a couple of weeks.
#4. He is having a hard time
Experiencing the highs and lows episodes for a person with bipolar is hard. He is not trying to manipulate you or trying to get your attention.
He may need to cut off contacts to give him some space to think and be less overwhelmed with the pressure of therapy, treatment, and medication.
When your bipolar boyfriend ignores you, it will take some time before he is ready to come out of his shell. When that happens, you may ask for an explanation.
However, just because he is back in contact does not mean that he’s healing. If he does not offer explanatory himself, do not ask for one.
You may feel entitled to any explanation, but your boyfriend may not think of that. Give him a little bit more time and show some affection and love.
Can Bipolar Ruin Relationships?
Bipolar disorder causes unpredictable mood swings that change your boyfriend’s behavior. Without treatment, his behavior can significantly affect the romantic relationship.
According to Dr. Gail Saltz from New York-Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell Medical College, “Mental illness does not mean a constant state of debilitation, but rather there could be episodes of more difficult times.”
Although there is no known cure for bipolar, treatment can effectively reduce symptoms and episodes. It can result in stability and make it easier for your bipolar boyfriend and you to carry a healthy partnership.
Attaining stability does not always mean that the relationship will last long. There are some signs that the relationship has become unhealthy for you:
- Your bipolar boyfriend refuses medications or stops treatments
- He is putting you or himself in danger
- You are experiencing stress and burnout
- You are sacrificing your life goals and values to take care of him
Before abandoning the relationship, you can put some efforts to mend the love between you two.
How Do You Survive a Bipolar Relationship?
A relationship with someone who is bipolar can survive if the ill person commits to recovery. It’s not your boyfriend’s fault that he has got the illness. Still, it is his responsibility to take care of it and get professional help.
Both mania and depression episodes often leave your bipolar boyfriend unable to interact with the people around him. He may seem uninterested in maintaining the relationship, and it can be misperceived.
When that happens, you need to take a step forward and do these 3 steps:
#1. Get a treatment
When your boyfriend ignores you, it is not easy to ask him to make an appointment with his doctor. It is also not your responsibility to take care of him.
If you want to make an appointment on his behalf or drive him to get professional help, that’s good. If not, that’s entirely okay.
#2. Learn about bipolar
Mamdouh El-Adl explains that those who are involved with the ill person should also learn about bipolar.
If you plan to have a long-term relationship with your boyfriend, you need to know his illness.
It will help you recognize the early symptoms and the necessary steps. So, the next time your bipolar boyfriend ignores you, you can know that he is facing one of the episodes.
#3. Resolve the issue
Once your boyfriend achieves stability, you can start resolving the issues in the relationship. For example, you can go to counseling or couple therapy.
In this phase, you can also agree with your boyfriend regarding what to do when he is experiencing mood swings.
For example, after three days of being depressed or showing mania symptoms, he has to agree to go to a hospital and seek help.
What to Do When a Bipolar Boyfriend Ignores Me?
Bipolar disorder can wreck-havoc your romantic relationship with your boyfriend and make him distance himself from you.
When your bipolar boyfriend ignores you, you need to learn how to deal with a bipolar partner. Refer to these 4 steps below:
#1. Give him time and space
If you’re living together with your boyfriend, try giving him the time and space he needs.
Offer help clearly but do not patronize him.
You can ask if he wants to do anything, eat something, or even talk about his feelings. Do not be disappointed if he is unresponsive or saying no.
Do not push him to do something he does not want, even if you think it will be helpful. But, pay attention to what he does and make sure that he does not put himself or yourself in danger.
If you live apart from your boyfriend, there is not much you can do at this point.
You can check up on him by calling, texting, or showing up at his door and bring him something that may cheer him up.
Even though your effort does not seem to give any improvement, do not be discouraged. It takes both sides to maintain the relationship, and for a person with bipolar, it is not easy.
You need to be the positive one in this relationship even when he ignores you. Because if you genuinely want to be with him, sometimes you need to do more work when he is incapable.
#2. Know the timing
You may feel terrible when you’re ignored and neglected by your boyfriend. However, do not confront him immediately or asking for explanations right away.
Maintain a relationship with your bipolar boyfriend can be tricky. You don’t want to worsen the situation and drown him with guilt, anxiety, and fear.
Although being honest and genuine about your feeling is essential, you need to consider the time to express them.
Ensure that your boyfriend has reached the level of stability that allows him to manage his feelings and emotions. Only then can you talk to him about how you felt being ignored during his mania or depression.
#3. Surround yourself with positivity
Spend time with your friends, taking a family vacation, even arranging a small party can take your mind off of your bipolar boyfriend.
It is vital to keep your mental state healthy and peaceful. Do not dwell in sadness when your bipolar boyfriend does not return your call or respond to your text.
There is so much out there you can do to feel better about yourself before coming back to contact him again.
If necessary, talk to your friends who have experiences with mental illness and ask for their insights.
Once you feel great and cheerful, you can try contacting your boyfriend again and proceeding with the fourth step.
#4. Keep him updated
Your bipolar boyfriend may ignore you, but he may still read your text. If you know that he does, leave him complimentary messages.
Tell him what you do with your friends today. Send him nice pictures of you and your friends having fun. You can even send him the cute cat pictures that you found on the internet.
Let him know that you are thinking about him and can still have fun without him. It can help him feel at ease because he knows that he is not dragging himself down.
It can also help him understand that you still care for him even though he is unresponsive.
Once he is ready, he may reply to your text.
Please refrain from calling too often, as it may seem intrusive. Instead, leave him emails, text messages, or tweets. This way, he can respond to them whenever he feels ready.
#5. Be extra positive
This attitude may work for you may also not. I’ve got this story from someone I know, and I think it is a great idea.
“You see, my boyfriend tends to sleep a lot and to be inactive for a day when he has depression. He ignores me the whole day, and I know first hand that it’s not pleasant. What I did was, since he was not moving in bed, I invented a game. I pile up things on top of him and see what kind of thing I can put on top of my depressed boyfriend and keep track of the record.”
It requires you to be extra optimistic about the situation and also a tolerance from your bipolar boyfriend. You may not want to do this if you know that he is easily annoyed.
However, you can still do or say something extra positive or fun even though your bipolar boyfriend ignores you.
Can a Bipolar Person Truly Love?
The answer is yes. People with bipolar can experience and feel love for others.
According to David H. Brendel, MD, Ph.D., “People with bipolar disorder are entitled to the human experiences that anybody else could have–like falling in love.”
However, both vulnerability to bipolar and falling in love can produce a complex picture when they conspire and happen simultaneously.
Your boyfriend may suddenly propose after three months of dating and get married a year after. Then, later in life, he will be uncertain about the impulsivity of the proposal.
There is the risk that your boyfriend may be getting carried away by his mania. It can result in him distrusting his own emotions and feeling to the extent that you start doubting his feelings for you.
You may be wondering if your boyfriend loves you or if it is just his mania and impulse taking place.
Chances are, he may also not be able to answer that. Suppose you are unsure about his feelings and what he says due to his bipolar tendency. In that case, you may seek help and calculate the pros and cons if you want to stay in the relationship.
How Do You Deal With a Bipolar Boyfriend?
Extra patience, double strength, unconditional love, and a fair amount of positivity are the key. It’s plenty, but that is what it takes.
There are rough ways ahead of you. But there is also a happy time. Just like any other relationship, you will struggle. One way or another, there will always pebble in your way to happiness.
Support your bipolar boyfriend to seek help and treatment. Agree with what to do and what is allowed to do.
For example, if he is endangering himself or you, you can call for help, and you cannot be held against it.
Understand that it is the illness that’s needed to be taken care of. As long as you keep in mind what makes you love your boyfriend, the relationship may last.
Even if he ignores you, remember that it is not the end of the world. Many people experience the same thing as you. There is no need to dwell in sorrow or feel guilty.
The Bottom Line
When your bipolar boyfriend ignores you, do not push or confront him right away. Instead, let him take his time and space. Surround yourself with your friend and try to improve your mood.
Bipolar disorder is an illness that shows up at MRIs. It is a real mental disorder that can leave your boyfriend uninterested in dealing with people around him.
Treatment is necessary to help him gain stability and function in his daily routine like ordinary people.
Keep in mind to distinguish between your boyfriend and the illness. He needs all the help you can provide.
Once the stability is gained, you can start discussing where the relationship should go or agree regarding his behavior in manic or depressive episodes.