Last Updated on January 24, 2024 by Elise Schiller
When a teenager starts acting out and is out of control, it can be difficult for parents to know what to do. If you are not sure what to do when your teenager is out of control, these tips below may just be the help you need.
Many parents feel as if their child is no longer listening. But, there are some techniques that you can use to turn the situation around and get your teen back on track.
If your teenager is out of control, a stern talking-to will probably not work.
Teenagers at this age need to be communicated with on an emotional level if you want them to change their behavior.
It’s best to remain calm and have a long discussion with the teen in question about why they are acting out and how it can be prevented in the future.
You should also talk with them about some consequences of their actions. You can refer to this article about 11 rules when giving consequences for lying teenagers.
Consequences such as losing driving privileges for a few months after getting caught breaking curfew or having stricter curfews set may help get your point across.
When talking with your child, let them know that even though they may not deserve a second chance, a parent is willing to give one to them anyway.
Be sure to keep yourself calm when you talk with your teen and not get caught up in the heat of the moment, no matter what they say or do!
Dating back to their rebellious teenage years, parents who lose control of themselves during an argument are more likely to fail at communicating with their children.
For parents of teenagers who have gone through all their options and need a little extra help, there are various types of therapy out there such as family therapy or individual counseling sessions where the teenager meets with a therapist in either one-on-one or group sessions.
These can help teens who are out of control because they let them practice how to communicate their emotions and feelings in a safe place with people that they trust.
When your teen is acting out, it’s important that you remain calm and be the adult during conflicts.
If you have tried everything else and your teen still needs help dealing with their emotions, see if family counseling might be right for them.
Here’s What to Do When Your Teenager Is Out of Control
If talking doesn’t work, it may be time to take further steps in order to resolve the problem.
Teenagers who have gone through all their options and need a little extra help can benefit from various types of therapy out there such as family therapy or individual counseling sessions where the teenager meets with a therapist in either one-on-one or group sessions.
These can help teens who are out of control because they let them practice how to communicate their emotions and feelings in a safe place with people that they trust.
If all else fails, try grounding your teen from electronics for a while.
Many adults agree that technology has not only made teenagers lazier, but also more entitled than ever before.
Removing this privilege may get the point across without the use of words, letting them know instead that negative actions have negative consequences.
When you give consequences to your child for acting out, give them time to think about what they did wrong.
It allows them to reflect on it later when thinking about their behavior in the future.
Never punish your teenager because you’re upset or just to get even. It will only make things worse!
At the end of the day, you need to always be there for your child. No matter what they do or how many chances they get, it’s important to support them and to let them know that you’re on their side.
Why?
Because teens who act out can become very lost in life if they don’t have any adults looking out for them.
How Do You Discipline a Teenager Who Doesn’t Care About Consequences?
When a teenager has lost respect for their parents and doesn’t care about the consequences of their actions, it can be difficult to get them motivated.
As a parent, there may come a time when your teenager will start acting out or showing signs of rebellion.
This is normal behavior for teens at this age, especially during puberty.
Although disciplining your child isn’t always easy, there are some things you can do to turn the situation around and help them develop into an adult who can face their problems head-on.
Here’s how you should discipline your teen when they are out of control:
- Don’t focus on how they make you feel, but rather what they did to make you feel that way.
- Try not to argue with them, no matter how upset it makes you. Instead, take a breather and try again later.
- Take the time to cool off before talking with them about what happened. It allows you to think straight and not get wrapped up in all the emotions of the moment.
- Don’t lose your temper! Being calm is to deal with a teen who is out of control. Any yelling or screaming just gives them more motivation to act out even more! Yep, that’s awful.
- If they won’t listen to you, have them talk with their teacher or try other forms of therapy such as individual counseling sessions.
Making sure to get your child the help that they need is extremely important.
Teens who continuously get in trouble and get away with it will only find themselves going down the wrong path in life.
Therefore, being strict at a young age can actually keep them out of a lot of trouble later on.
If you see that even after all these efforts, your teen still doesn’t care how their actions affect others, there may be a deeper problem going on that needs professional attention from somebody who knows about teens out of control.
Pro Tip: You should always trust yourself when disciplining your children because you know them better than anybody else. But, there is always more that can be said when it comes to getting an expert opinion on the matter.
How Do You Discipline a Defiant Teenager?
Dealing with a defiant teenager is exhausting and mentally tiring. You may want to try several tips below:
#1. Leave them alone for a bit until they cool down
That means don’t talk to them, call, text or bother them in general until they calm down.
Letting them know you’re still mad at them isn’t going to help anything.
It’s best for everyone involved if you stay away from each other while you both have tempers flying.
#2. Talk to other parents
Disciplining a rebellious teen is not an easy feat, and having someone on your side can really do a lot in these situations.
Bringing up the topic with another parent who also has a teenager will give you some different perspectives on being strict when handling children that have been misbehaving too much lately.
You can even try talking with their teacher to let them know what kind of issues your child is having and see what kinds of responses and consequences they recommend.
#3. Send them to therapy with you if needed!
Defiance is a common behavior in children, especially teenagers.
It might seem like your child is acting out on purpose to purposefully get under your skin or make your life harder.
But it’s important to work towards establishing trust between you two again if that relationship was fractured before.
Perhaps there are deeper issues that need to be addressed. Rebellion can happen for many reasons other than effective communication with parents.
Try working together to tackle the problem head-on instead of giving up hope entirely.
Sometimes all it takes is trying different forms of discipline until you see results!
#4. Talk about why they’re acting out and what feelings they may be having because of their actions
Teens who feel secure and confident about themselves are less likely to push boundaries or rebel against their parents.
Try taking some time out of your hectic day to talk with your teen and find out what they’re feeling and thinking when they’re acting out. Everyone is different.
That’s why it’s important that you know exactly why the problem persists after the previous steps have been completed.
It might be a good idea to have them take part in counseling if their rebellious behavior continues even after consequences have been established.
Make sure you both come together as a team instead of pulling apart from each other.
#5. Go over rules, expectations, and boundaries
Establishing good communication is key to any relationship, not just between parents and teenagers.
Talk with your teen about exactly what kinds of behaviors are expected from them when they come home after school or during the weekend.
Make sure to also discuss what happens if they don’t follow those rules (like having their phone taken away for a day or grounding them).
Don’t be afraid to ask what kinds of boundaries they feel comfortable with.
It’s important that everyone agrees on the consequences together to avoid fighting later on.
#6. Don’t lose your temper, as this will only make things worse
Being a parent to a teenager is hard, being a parent of a teenager who’s also trying to establish independence from their parents is even harder.
Try your best not to lose your temper, as you’re probably already overwhelmed with the stress and responsibilities of work/children/your own life.
If your teen senses that they’re pushing on your last nerve, they’ll keep pushing until they get what they want.
That is why it’s important to keep yourself composed at all times.
#7. Deal with the bad behavior immediately when it happens
Don’t put off disciplining your child because you feel like doing it later. It will only result in bigger problems down the road!
If there are any negative behaviors that need correcting occurring at the moment or that need an explanation, then do it right then and there before they run away from you or ignore you altogether.
After all, the consequences for their actions should be apparent after breaking one or two rules.
So, don’t wait for things to escalate even further when it’s completely within your power to stop them now!
Where Can I Send an Unruly Teenager?
When you’re having behavioral problems with your teenager who is constantly pushing the boundaries and acting out, they might need help from a professional to sort through their feelings.
Try contacting your local child psychologist or family therapist for advice and possible treatment if necessary!
They can provide you with different types of therapies and counseling in order to fix the relationship between you and your child once and for all. Don’t give up on them, that’s when things get really bad!
The Bottom Line
When it comes to dealing with a teenager who is constantly acting out and causing trouble, it’s important that you don’t give up hope!
There are several ways to help your child when they’re in rebellious stages of adolescence, including talking about their feelings, establishing rules and boundaries for behavior, not losing your temper, and disciplining them immediately when necessary.
If there continue to be problems after the first few disciplinary measures have been taken by both parties, then it might be a good idea to contact your trusted child psychologist or family therapist for advice and treatment if all else fails.
They can provide different forms of therapies and counseling in order to fix the relationship between you and your child once and for all. Don’t lose just yet!