Last Updated on January 21, 2024 by Elise Schiller
“What do I do when I hate my mom?” This is a question many teenagers are asking themselves. I had the same issue when I was a teenager, and I hope this article can help you navigate those feelings.
In a family relationship, it is absolutely normal to have tension between parents and children. The problem arises when it gets too intense, up to the point where you start hating your mom.
If you are currently experiencing this negative feeling towards your mom, and it starts affecting your life, it is a clear sign that something needs to be done.
In this article, we will discuss what you can do when you hate your mom in order to improve your relationship with your family.
Why Do Teenagers Hate Their Moms?
There are many reasons why teenagers hate their mom, but the most common ones are:
- She is too strict.
- You and your mom don’t share the same values and beliefs.
- Your sibling gets to do things you can’t (e.g., watch TV).
No one is born hating their mom, but there are certain situations that can make it worse. The following are the most common reasons why a teenager hates his or her mother, and one of them (or more!) may apply to you:
#1. Social media addiction
Many kids use social networking sites such as Facebook much more than they should. If you have spent many more hours scrolling on social media than you can remember, this may be the case.
Spending too much time on social media can result in you not doing your homework because you would rather spend time on Instagram instead of studying.
Sometimes, you do not realize how much time you’ve spent scrolling through feeds. If you want to see how much you’re addicted to social media, try installing phone usage tracking apps to help you see the facts.
Your mom should be aware of how much time you spend on social media. Come to your mom and ask her what she expects from you, and try to come to an agreement regarding social media.
#2. Parental alienation
If parents are going through a divorce, then one or both may try to turn the child against his/her partner.
This is certainly not healthy for either party because it could damage the relationship between parent and child forever.
Parents need to realize that even if they don’t like each other anymore, their children will always remain important in their lives no matter what happens.
Also, parental alienation during divorce proceedings can turn the kid away from one parent, making things worse than before. No one is born hating their mom, but certain situations make this feeling happen more often than not.
If this is the case with you, you need to look back and analyze if your dad is sabotaging your relationship with your mom, resulting in you hating her more than you should.
What to Do When You Hate Your Mom?
What to do when I hate my mom? Once your relationship with your mom has deteriorated to the point where you hate her, it is not too late to fix things.
You can try out these suggestions:
#1. Apologizing
Start by apologizing for any of your mistakes that may have led to this situation.
#2. Explain
If there are problems with how she raised you, tell her what they were and explain why you disagree.
#3. Understand
Try to understand your mom’s point of view and see things from her perspective, as this will help you overcome the anger that is holding you back from having a better relationship with her.
#4. Compromise
Maybe there are some privileges she does not allow you because they’re harmful (e.g., watching TV all day), so ask her to compromise on this.
#5. Make Agreement
Make sure she knows it’s not all about rules! Try spending some quality time with your mom doing things you both like, and make an effort to connect emotionally as well (e.g., ask her for advice).
How to Improve Your Relationship With Your Mom
If you are a teenager who is currently facing this problem, then here is what to do in order to improve your relationship with your mother:
#1. Do not talk back
Do not talk back or be rude when she tells you something. Pretend that whatever she says makes sense and just nod without arguing.
Remember that being disrespectful will never help the situation!
#2. Try to connect
Ask her about her day at work or school, so it looks like you care about what’s happening around her.
If she asks how was your day, answer politely and remember not to complain too much because complaining can make parents think they have done something wrong!
#3. Spend time together
Take an interest in activities that may seem silly, but might actually get both of your thoughts going on similar lines. For example, if your mom loves gardening, then you can take an interest in growing some plants as well!
#4. Be nice
If your mother is going through a divorce, just keep being nice to her without complaining.
It’s tough for both of them and if she feels that you are the only one who cares about her feelings, then it will be easier on everyone.
#5. Be Understandable
If you hate your mom because of social media addiction or parental alienation from either parent during the divorce process, make sure not to talk back when they tell you something to do or complain too much about things that might seem trivial at times.
Talking back won’t help improve relations with parents, so always remember this rule before speaking up next time.
How to Deal With Hatred Towards Your Mom
As a child, it is natural to love your mother unconditionally. She makes those big sacrifices for you and loves you no matter what kind of mood or personality type she may have been in at the time.
In most cases, children feel that all mothers are loving creatures who can do no wrong.
But as you grow up, when we face situations where our loved ones make us angry and frustrated because they don’t understand something about ourselves–like why we need some space–then it’s hard not to hold onto anger towards them even if they aren’t trying to hurt us on purpose.
Here are some tips on how to deal with the hatred towards your mom and how you can be a better individual by navigating those feelings:
- You can choose to not let it get you down. You don’t have to listen or care what they say about her.
- Not everyone is going to feel the same way about your emotion. Some people are just plain mean and don’t care who they hurt in their words, but you can’t let them get to you.
- People will always find something negative to say; it’s up to you how much of that negativity affects your life and self-esteem.
- You can try to understand why your mom is saying those things to you. Maybe it’s because your mom is different, or maybe you just don’t know her that well. You have the power of choice in how much her negative feedback affects you.
The Bottom Line
When it comes to emotion, there are always three sides you need to look up to. Your side, her side, and the truth. If you can afford to go to a professional or therapist, I’d suggest you do it.
When not, the best way to deal with the hatred towards your mom is by making sure you focus on yourself and not let the negative words of others affect your life.
Remember that every situation in life has a positive side if one looks deep enough, so make sure to stay optimistic no matter what. I know it’s easier said than done.
If your mom is saying mean and negative things about you because she is different, or because you don’t know her that well, then she may not be worth your time and energy. Stay in contact, be respectful, but filter her words and actions.
Summary
“What do I do when I hate my mom?” If you are a teenager who is currently in this problem, follow these simplified steps in order to improve your relationship with your mom:
- Do not talk back or be rude when she tells you something. Pretend that whatever she says makes sense and just nod without arguing. Remember that being disrespectful will never help the situation!
- Ask her about her day. It makes you appear as if you care about what’s happening around her. If she asks how was your day, answer politely and remember not to complain too much because complaining can make parents think they have done something wrong. There are times to address the issue, but first, let’s focus on fixing the communication problem between you and your mom.
- Take an interest in her activities, that may seem silly but might actually get both of your thoughts going on similar lines. For example, if your mom loves gardening, then you can take an interest in growing some plants as well.
- If your mother is going through a divorce, keep being nice to her without complaining. It’s tough for both of your parents and if she feels that you are the only one who cares about her feelings, then it will be easier on everyone.
- Many people may find your mother to be nice and considerate, but what you have to understand is that not everyone is going to feel the same way as you do. There are also people who will say rude and mean things about your mom, but you don’t have to agree just because you have a negative impression of your mom. Remember that some people are just plain old rude and don’t care who they hurt in their words, so make sure not to let them get under your skin and worsen the situation between you and your mom.
Your mom can be mean, but you have the power of choice in how much negative feedback affects your life and self-esteem.
You can choose to not let it get you down, or if she says something that is upsetting, then try to understand why she is saying those words.
Maybe she’s different because she has a personality that some people don’t like, or maybe you just don’t know her that well. If she’s going through a divorce, then you can be nice to her without complaining because it is tough for both of them.
In the end, she is still your mom, and you are required to be respectful even though you are disagreeing with her, and she has done nothing but mean things to you.
If she is causing damage to your mental health and self-esteem, distance yourself from her, but never break the ties. If possible, ask for help from professionals and people inside the family.
No like literally, she is abusive and ridiculously stupid. Hating your mother is different than disliking certain things she does, the regular “teenage angst” is a disliking, not a hate. This article is dumb and unhelpful for people who actually hate their mom, for kids who just don’t like them then yeah I guess it’s helpful.